Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

:flirty:
 

Laying in a field of grass by =Jazzman1989:iconJazzman1989:



Fleeting flutterbye wandering sky
Tectonian giants soaring by;
Where is the rain you promised;
I wonder whether the days apply
To what albatross see up high.

If I were to shoot him down,
Would you stare with a frown,
And put the pheasant my neck around
To cause some burden with this gown;
I wonder whether I will drown

Beneath the dunes of golden grass
I lay awake - tumbling ash
Littered from a nearby elm,
Rusted petals tumble fast
And on my eyelids, I pay in cash.

For if I do not wake,
From this slumber I do partake
Then I shall pay for my ride
Across the river Styx, I take
A voyage that I wish to never make.

On this slope visions under
Incandescent sunlit wonder
Summer tales of pirate’s plunder
And random thunder reminds us
Of those tectonian giants’ fabrications
Leaving my plane of thought.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconjazzman1989:

Author's Comments

I was just looking out my dorm room window and saw some giant white clouds, and thought I'd start there and take it in the direction of a lazy summer day, reminiscent of Mark Twain minus the racial slurs, social injustice, and racial tensions and then add in some allusions to other poems and epic tales and legends.

I'll come back to edit it later, just wanted to get it up now.

:aww: Enjoy :aww:

Critiques


Thank you for your Critique

You are not logged in.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconimkimmy4:
EEEEE!
i love the rhyme! ^^
wonderful job Big Bro Wes! ^^

--
From the Count of Monte Cristo, "Live for a day will come when you will be happy, and bless life."
-------------------
:heart: For I thank God every day for the life He has given me. I am truly blessed with kindness and love, Thank You.
:iconcaroncecilia:
very nice!! i likes!!

--
~Those talked over oft times make the best writers.
---
yeah, I'm one of those "I really like this, good job!" critics. So sue me...
---

I support: =DailyLitDeviations *100ThemesChallenge ~Prompt-A-Day ~CollabLit
:iconnid311:
Isn't it amazing how you can start with such a simple object and see where it takes you. Very well written.

--
Every girl should have a hero, and I feel fortunate to have David as mine!

I am a member of the following clubs: Eye Of Terror, ABC Of Life Challenge, pd-art-club and Mental-Illness Club.
:iconpooka-love:
Beneath the dunes of golden grass
I lay awake - tumbling ash
Littered from a nearby elm,
Rusted petals tumble fast
And on my eyelids, I pay in cash.

such visualization, my friend. a work worth faving!

--
[[in the åߣ¥§§, you hear þøök¡ë]]] ==== *þøökå*

Details

August 30
1.0 KB

Statistics

4
14 [who?]
79 (0 today)
1 (0 today)

Site Map